


why tommy hates walmart

by loriedapotxto



Series: mcyt fanfics :] [10]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clay | Dream Is An Idiot, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Disney World & Disneyland, Everyone is an idiot, Gen, How Do I Tag This, They need it, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit is an idiot, Walmart, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot is an idiot, but no angst, getting locked inside walmart, i dont even know, like literally - Freeform, lowercase intended, no beta we die like ponk, they need help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 21:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30095577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loriedapotxto/pseuds/loriedapotxto
Summary: “don’t tell me. don’t even talk about-”“we’re trapped in a store, tommy. we’re locked in a fucking walmart while our friends are probably somewhere having fun with a mickey mouse mascot.”OR: wilbur and tommy get stuck in a walmart on their way to disneyland.(lowercase intended)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, then we have platonic ships-
Series: mcyt fanfics :] [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122227
Comments: 7
Kudos: 109





	why tommy hates walmart

**Author's Note:**

> there needs to be more fics like this :pensiveaf:  
> uh so my roadtrip fic is making me procrastinate so i’ll probably not be doing that for a while, and i have only 2 weeks more of class so that gives me time to write a butt load of crack fics-  
> ive never been to walmart because im not american nor live near a walmart, so sorry if some stuff is inaccurate-  
> rated t for swearing and some background descriptions of tommy vomiting but thats all i think- but this fic is lowercase intended and not beta’d, so enjoy :]

  
  


“we’re at a walmart!” dream announced from the driver’s seat, cracking his knuckles as he stopped the car.

half of the occupants in the van groaned, someone even having the audacity to throw a pillow —or was it a can?— at dream’s head; the man narrowly missing it as the object hit the dashboard.

“what’s so bad about a walmart?” ranboo wondered, tilting his head to look at the rest of his friends.

wilbur sighed, patting ranboo’s shoulder, “nothing, —well other than the fact it’s american— it’s just we took too many stops today and it would be better if we arrived at disneyland at the exact time we’re supposed to be so they don’t give away our reserved rooms,” he explained, earning an understanding look from the other.

“so why are we at a walmart if we’re supposed to be at disneyland?” tubbo asked, directing the question to no one in particular but still wondering.

“i’m not sure, tubbo,” wilbur gave the other brunette a tight-lipped smile, “why don’t you ask dream?” 

tubbo’s questioning look then redirected to dream, which resulted in the other occupants of the van looking at the green-clad man as well.

dream shook his head, casting a look to george who was sitting beside him. “ _george_ told me he needed to buy something at a walmart, so i did what he asked me and drove us to a walmart,” he said; the van’s occupants now glaring at george who refused to meet anyone’s eye.

“what did george want to buy that he couldn’t just buy it at disneyland or buy it before our trip anyway?” tommy asked, raising an eyebrow at the silence he received.

“well…”  
  
_

  
  
“so, let me get this straight,” tommy cleared his throat, “you want me and wilbur to go into an american store just to buy you a meet the robinsons dvd?! in what universe would you think that would happen!?” tommy asked incredulously, his eyes wide as he glanced between george and wilbur.

“it’s your turn to go grocery shopping so i thought, ‘why not just go grocery shopping here?’ it’s nearer disneyland and plus, you guys don’t have to go shopping in that sketchy 24/7 grocery store,” george defended.

“honestly, i would rather shop there than miss our room reservation at disneyland,” wilbur muttered under his breath.

“why do you even need that dvd anyway?” tommy asked, having heard wilbur’s statement but choosing to ignore it.

“well, uh- karl and i wanted to have a movie night and the movie we decided on was meet the robinsons-” 

“wait wait wait- doesn’t karl already have a meet the robinsons dvd?” sapnap chimed in, glancing at his best friend and his boyfriend with looks of confusion.

“well, yes,” karl said, rubbing the back of his neck, “but i forgot to bring it along and i only remembered once we were 2 hours away from the house so i just messaged gogy about it,” he admitted a little guiltily, causing sapnap to soften his eyes and bring karl into a hug.

“it’s fine karl,” george amended with a little smile, karl returning it but still looking sad.

tommy rolled his eyes, “fine, we’ll go buy your stupid dvd, but when we get back home, you guys owe us 5 extra rides on your motorcycles,” he said, to which george and karl sheepishly nodded their understanding.

“alright,” wilbur clapped his hands, “where do we get the money for your dvd? we don’t really want to be spending our money on your things, no offense,” causing tommy to glare at him for the ‘no offense’.  
  
dream threw a credit card at him, “here’s mine and george’s shared credit card. just use it but make sure to only use it on the dvd,”

wilbur nodded, “alright. be sure to wait for us, kay?” the rest of the van occupants nodded, some of them already going back to sleep.

dream unlocked the door, and with some poorly muttered goodbyes, tommy and wilbur climbed out of the van with the former murmuring curses under his breath.

_

  
  


“where is the fucking dvd section?!” tommy screamed, nearly ripping his hair out with how hard he was tugging at the blonde locks. he was only silenced by wilbur, who clapped a hand on his mouth and glared at him with his signature _tommy shut the fuck up before we get grounded; i am not dealing with your shit today_ look.

“tommy,” wilbur ground out behind clenched teeth, “if you would bother reading, the dvd section is literally 10 feet away from us, so no need to scream your lungs out,” he muttered, looking around for anyone who heard tommy’s sharp yell.

tommy glared at wilbur, saying _what the fuck wilbur get your hand off my mouth before i start stabbing shit_ with his eyes, but wilbur only raised a questioning eyebrow. in another universe where tommy wasn’t used to his brother’s mental looks, the younger would have been intimidated, but that wasn’t this universe. in this universe, tommy just wants to find a shitty dvd so they can just move on with their trip to disneyland.

tommy huffed, looking the other way. wilbur sighed, then slowly released tommy’s mouth from the death grip his hand has inflicted.

“c’mon, hurry up will you? we don’t have all day,” wilbur whispered, starting to pick up his speed as he jogged to the dvd section of the store. tommy rolled his eyes, but complied with his brother’s wishes as he followed the musician.

_

“they are taking _forever_ ! why and how does it take so long to buy a _dvd_?!” quackity groaned, flopping his hands on his face as the sun slowly set outside.

“i’m sure they’re just a cash register away; you know how busy walmart gets at rush hour,” niki tried to lighten the mood, trailing off when quackity scoffed at her answer.

“if they were truly waiting in line to pay, they would have been here 50 minutes ago!” quackity retorted, hiding his face in his hands as the sun gave a particularly bright glare.

karl and george shamefully refused to meet anyone’s eye as they saw tommy and wilbur weren’t back from their supposedly small stop and shop.

“are we sure it was the best decision to send the duo who is known for fucking things up to go buy your dvd?” techno mused, his voice void of emotion as he waited for his brothers to come back.

everyone in the van glanced at each other comically, before half the van’s occupants let out a loud sigh and the rest shook their hands with a regretful look.

“and no one wants to go in there to buy the dvd then grab tommy and wilbur once they’re done buying the god-forsaken meet the robinsons dvd?” ranboo asked exasperatedly, earning him another round of sighs and head shakes.

“passing by walmart in the first place was a bad idea,” tubbo mumbled softly.

“no shit sherlock,” techno snarked quietly, ranboo smacking him on the shoulder for the comment.

_  
  
  


“wait a second,” tommy put up a hand as he glared at the walmart employee with varying looks of disbelief and anger, “you’re telling me, that this credit card expired _today_?” he asked, incredulity leaking into his voice.

the walmart employee nodded, albeit a little fearfully, “yes, it expired today so it is invalid for any uses starting today and onwards,” she shifted uncomfortably at the silence she was answered with, tommy and wilbur now staring at the invalid credit card with dream’s name on it.

after a few more minutes of silence, the girl cleared her throat, “excuse me, but is there any other way you can pay for this?” she gestured to the meet the robinsons dvd she had scanned earlier.

“we don’t- we don’t have any money on us right now; our friend gave this card to us and told us to use it to pay for the dvd,” wilbur admitted, hand fumbling around all his pockets to see if he had brought his wallet along.

tommy shook his head, bringing out his phone and scrolling through his contacts angrily until he reached dream’s contact.

**_green bitch_ **

_you: DREAM WHAT THE FUCK MAN_ _  
_ _  
_ _green bitch: what do you mean, tommy?_

 _you: DONT PRETEND TO BE ALL INNOCENT AND SHIT_ _  
_ _  
_ _you: THE CREDIT CARD YOU GAVE US IS INVALID AND WE HAVE NO WAY TO PAY FOR YOUR BOYFRIENDS FUCKING DVD_ _  
_ _  
_ _green bitch: WHAT_

_green bitch: HOLD ON_

  
  


tommy raked a hand through his locks anxiously, waiting for dream’s answer as the lady then scanned the groceries of the rest of the people behind them in line while he and wilbur stood awkwardly on the sideline.

finally, after 10 minutes and most of the line done paying, he heard a ping from his iphone. he tried to ignore his own anxiety and wilbur looking close to eating his nails and the blond opened the message.

  
  


**_green bitch_ **

  
  


_green bitch: george and karl said just leave it and come back_

_green bitch: the guards wont let us in because its almost closing time_

_green bitch: just tell her you dont need it anymore and run out of there_

_you: kk, we will be right out after this last person gets their things scanned and we can return the dvd_

  
  


tommy closed the dm as he slowly exhaled, glancing at his brother who was now staring unblinking at the dvd in his hands —his poor, shaking hands— as he noticed tommy looking at him.

“what did dream say?” wilbur croaked quietly, his hands still shaking but more stable now.

tommy swallowed, “he said give the dvd back and leave; karl and george said we just need to leave it and run back to the van,” he answered curtly, wilbur nodding along as he waited like the gentleman he is for the last person to put their groceries in the bags.

the lady then looked at the two of them, a single brown eyebrow raising. “do you guys have a way to pay for that or are you gonna have to return it?” she inquired, putting the last coin in the register as the faint sound of the announcer saying 5 minutes till closing time echoed through the store.

wilbur handed her the dvd, “our friend said to return it and head back, we have an overdue reservation at disneyland so we must be moving,” he replied shortly but straightly. 

the employee nodded as she took the dvd from wilbur’s unsteady hands. “i understand; i’ll be sure to put this in the right place. thank you, you two,” she nodded shortly to the duo, before saying something to her fellow employee and turning on her heel to stalk away to the dvd section.

“alright,” tommy turned to wilbur, “can we go-” he was cut off by a sudden pain in his stomach.

“ugh, eating that soiled sandwich was a bad idea,” tommy groaned, his arm supporting his abdomen. 

wilbur rushed to his side, slinging one thin arm around his shoulder as he dragged him to the rest rooms —or where he assumed they were— and pushed him into a stall.  
  
“go, take your time and vomit all you want, i’ll be here.” wilbur assured. okay, that wasn’t the _best_ thing to say, but he was also panicking because tommy and stomach sicknesses weren’t a good thing, so what was he supposed to say?

“are you sure they won’t lock us in here?” tommy asked, before cutting himself off and probably retching down the toilet.

wilbur cringed at the sound, closing his eyes as he tried to will away the mental image of tommy barfing into a walmart toilet. “yeah, they should know we are in here and won’t close down the store yet.” he affirmed.

_

  
  
wilbur spoke too soon.

“don’t tell me.” tommy waved his hands in the air swiftly, “don’t even talk about-” 

“we’re trapped in a store, tommy. we’re locked in a fucking _walmart_ while our friends are probably somewhere having fun with a mickey mouse mascot.” wilbur grounded out, not intimidated the slightest bit. 

“fuck you,” tommy cursed at wilbur, glaring at him with a look of pure hatred. if wilbur wasn’t so used to those looks, he would be faltering and backing away, but he was used to it. tommy would get over it eventually. (if they even made it out alive, which they probably would because they weren’t in some stereotypical horror movie, but you never know)  
  
“where the fuck’s my phone,” tommy muttered, searching his pants for his phone as wilbur combed a hand through his hair, —something he did a lot now— anxiety written all over his form.

_

  
  
“where are they!?” techno demanded, glaring at dream as if the action would take away all his problems.

“i’m not sure, techno,” dream said quietly, bowing his head as he flinched slightly at the look techno bestowed upon him.

“what do you mean ‘i’m not sure’? tommy literally messaged you 15 minutes ago saying they’d be out in 5 minutes but they still aren’t here!” techno growled slightly, only calming down by ranboo’s reassuring pat on his shoulder.

there was an uncomfortable silence that passed through the van, before niki gave a gasp of delight.

everyone’s heads comically snapped to her. “are tommy and wilbur here?” tubbo asked, hoping the answer was yes.

niki’s delight dimmed a little, before shaking her head. “nope, but i contacted the manager of the resort and they said it’s fine that we’re running late, as long as we can pay a little more,” she said instead, hoping it was good news.

dream gave her a small smile, “that’s great, niki, and thank you. but our number one concern right now is tommy and wilbur, so,” he trailed off.

niki nodded in understanding, before going back to typing something on her phone.

  
  


_  
  


  
“great. just great. when i need my phone, the battery dies. just great!” tommy groaned, sarcasm heavy on his tongue.

wilbur snorted despite himself, but sobered up. “look,” he lay a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder, “it’ll be fine. i’m sure they will know we’re still here and it’s getting late and we’ll get rescued soon,” he joked the last bit, smiling a little at the small chuckle tommy gave.

“wait, do you have your phone, wilbur?” tommy asked, turning to him.

“i think, but i’m pretty sure it’s out of load,” he said, bringing out his phone from his pocket before tommy snatched it from his hands.

“wha-” was all wilbur could manage before tommy had a triumphant grin on his face.

“so, that means i still have load. great,” wilbur said to himself under his breath, patting himself on the back at the information that he didn’t recklessly waste all his load on the trip.

_  
  
  


**_the one who is gae for an egg 🧍_**

  
  


_the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: HELLO??? DREAM???_ _  
_ _  
_ _you: wilbur? is this you?_ _  
_ _  
_ _the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: NO!1!!1!_

_the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: ITS BIG MAN TOMMY DANGER KRAKEN INNIT!1!1!!_

_you: i-_

_you: okay “big man tommy danger kraken innit” where are you guys?_ _  
_ _  
_ _the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: WE ARE TRAPPED INSIDE WALMART_

_you: what_

_you: the_

_you: fuck._

_the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: WHAT THE HELL ARE U WAITING FOR??!! RESCUE US U ASSHOLE!!!!!!_ _  
_ _  
_ _you: you forget i’m not an employee and therefore cannot do that_

_the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: CALL THE COPS OR THE EMPLOYEES OR WHOEVER CAN THEN!!!!_

_you: its not that simple-_ _  
_ _  
_ _the one who is gae for an egg 🧍: JUST DO IT BEFORE WILBUR LOSES HIS SANITY_

_you: what the hell has walmart done to you two-_

  
  


dream closed the dm upon seeing tommy probably didn’t see it because of either wilbur’s phone dying or he was doing something else; the former less likely because dream himself was the one who charged wilbur’s phone. okay, time was ticking and they better get wilbur and tommy out before something bad happens.

“guys!” he clapped his hands together, gathering his friends’ attention. “tommy and wilbur are apparently locked in the walmart washrooms, and we need to save them. that sounds corny but it was tommy’s words not mine,” he said.

“how though?” sapnap asked, “we don’t have any power to just open the doors of a walmart store,” he reminded.

“well, dear sappy nappy,” quackity stood up and looped an arm around the other’s neck, “there is a thing called calling the police and telling them to help us rescue our friends,” the mexican man chimed, before going back to his seat.

sapnap’s lips formed an ‘o’ shape before he nodded. 

“you didn’t think of that?” karl frowned at his boyfriend, confusion written on his features.

“probably just my brain needing to see a mickey mouse costume before i lose it,” sapnap joked, wrapping an arm around karl’s shoulders.

“but regardless, we have to call the cops and hope they help us get tommy and wilbur out,” dream stated, his tone final as he looked at everyone. 

everyone who wasn’t asleep nodded firmly. dream took out his phone and dialed the local police, literally praying to every god he knew that they would pick up.  
  
“hello?”

thank whoever god out there listening that they actually picked up, dream thought, some of the tension from his shoulders leaking out from his body.

_  
  


**_SUCK IT GREEN BOI_ **

_SUCK IT GREEN BOI: tommy i think we found a way to get you out_

_SUCK IT GREEN BOI: tommy?_

_SUCK IT GREEN BOI: TOMMY???_

_SUCK IT GREEN BOI: TOMMY ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE_

_  
_ _  
_ tommy dropped the phone as he came up with an idea, running to the nearest stage where some appliances were.

“what are you doing, tommy?” wilbur asked skeptically as he watched tommy grab a lamp and chair. ** _  
_ **

“just saving us from dying inside a walmart,” tommy deadpanned, a drop of sweat falling onto the wooden chair he grabbed.

tommy has been switching between materials for the past ten minutes, wilbur trying to get him to snap out of it but failing miserably. it would only be a matter of time before tommy passed out from lack of food, water and rest.

“tommy just leave it-” wilbur started before he was interrupted by the sound of police sirens.

“what. the. fuck.” the brunette breathed sharply.

tommy didn’t pay attention to the rapidly nearing sound of the cops and started to pound the chair against the door. 

“tommy, no!” wilbur grabbed tommy’s arm before he could pound against the door again. “we could get sued for breaking the door and you would just waste your energy. dream probably called the cops and they’re gonna help us out,” the musician reasoned, swiftly grabbing the chair from tommy as the blond nodded slowly.

“fine,” tommy huffed, though it was weak as his exhaustion was creeping up on him as he blinked, trying to clear his blurry vision.

wilbur gave him a small smile as the sound of sirens and blinding colors of red and blue came into their line of sight.

“don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” wilbur tried to comfort tommy, but tommy waved his concern away.

“we are fine, nothing’s wrong,” tommy said, but wilbur raised a questioning eyebrow.

“okay, we may be tired and hungry,” tommy fixed.

wilbur shook his head with a fond smile, “correction, we are tired and hungry,” he corrected.

tommy nodded, “yeah, i guess.” 

wilbur gave him a softer smile as he pulled tommy near him, despite both of them standing and near passing out. no words were needed as the two brothers waited for the police and their friends to come help them.

_

  
  
“are you sure you guys are okay? nothing hurt? nothing injured?t” george and karl fussed as they looked at the duo who were now sprawled against techno and tubbo.

tommy threw his head back and groaned, “for the enth time, we’re fine! the only thing we need is sleep which we can’t get because you two are fussing over us like we’re 2-year-olds!”

wilbur rolled his eyes, “he’s right, you know,” he directed it to karl and george, despite his closed eyes. “just let us rest and by the time we’re at disneyland, tommy will go back to being a gremlin and i’ll go back to being the responsible older brother.” wilbur stated, the last part of his sentence joking but everyone listening knew it was true. 

if tommy was awake, he would be shoving wilbur and wilbur would be laughing, but right now, tommy just wanted to get some sleep so he would have the energy to watch a mickey mouse mascot do a cliche dance once they finally arrived at the godforsaken disneyland.

**Author's Note:**

> JSHGY i was having a long debate on the ending, but i finally decided on a normal one. sorry if the fic looks rushed; i had to rush this because homework exists and i have other things to do, but i literally needed to post something-
> 
> but regardless, hope you enjoyed and have a great day :]


End file.
